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a fear of focusing on the negative

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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We have many words to describe fears. In fact there may well be a word for every fear or phobia. Why is that?

True, many of the names fears and phobias are a little more esoteric. Not in most people’s vocabulary. For example…
Athazagoraphobia – fear of being forgotton or ignored
Chionophobia – fear of snow
Alektorophobia – fear of chickens
Geniophobia – fear of chins
Sesquipedalophobia – fear of long words (ironically)

However there are common examples we are all familiar with; such things as…
Agoraphobia – fear of open spaces
Xenophobia – fear of foreigners
Technophobia – fear of technology
Claustrophobia – fear of confined spaces
Arachnophobia – fear of spiders

Technically we could replace phobia with philia (Greek origin) and turn these into loves or addictions, but we don’t have these in our daily lexicon. How many -philias do you know or use?

Why such rich language for negatives when we don’t have the same plethora of words to describe the love of something?

What does this say about our societal focus on the bad or negative, and how does this impact our human psyche?

That worries me.

how little we really know

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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For all we know about the world, its solar systems, its solids and gases and liquids, its states and orbits and atmospheres, its stars and planets and moons. For all we know about the Earth, its rivers and mountains and continents, its seas and oceans and lakes, its cities and people and landscapes, its cultures and societies and languages… we know nothing.

Everyone has their own world, their own reality, their own truth. Created from their own experience. Made up of patterns and meaning and connections. Motivated by values, purpose and beliefs. Driven by feelings, emotions and thoughts. Held in pictures and sounds and senses. Motivated by ego, desire and love.

Every world unique.

We struggle to understand our own personal world, let alone that of our neighbour, our colleague, our friend, our human cousin.

We know nothing.

origami emotions

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I read recently about an ‘origami robot’ that unfolds itself to perform remote controlled surgery in the stomach. It has just undergone laboratory tests.

The small rectangular robot is ingested in a dissolving capsule and then steered, using magnetic fields, to patch a stomach wall wound or to collect a foreign body, such as a swallowed button battery. Using magnets rather than a tether to direct it, provides greater flexibility and control.

Wow. Science is amazing.

But, how come we can do this, yet…
we can’t cure loneliness?
we can’t stop people worrying?
we can’t stop human beings commiting self abusive behaviour?
we can’t give people their self esteem back?

How many more people worry, or are lonely, or have low self esteem in comparison to those with stomach wall tears or those who swallow batteries?

Come on science, let’s pay attention to the emotional and psychological too. We need you to do great things for us.

fledgling vulnerability

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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A tiny bird, taking its first steps away from the nest, stands in my garden. A sparrow.

It runs after its mother following the only rule it knows. Stay close. It stands, beak gaping, pleading for food.  The mother provides. Insect after insect. The fledgling bird incessant, demanding, noisy. The mother industrious, giving, caring.

So helpless, so dependent, so vulnerable.

We are vulnerable too. We should embrace that. It’s beautiful.

neat living?

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I need to cut the grass. It’s a routine during three seasons. Mostly a chore. Weekend job.

We cut a lot of things that grow.

Outside we not only cut grass, we prune roses, clip shrubs, pull up weeds, lop branches.

On our own bodies we clip nails, cut hair, exfoliate skin, pluck eyebrows, shave underarm hair, trim beards or shave them off all together; each day, often at prescribed times.

Most of this cutting seems to serve a tidiness purpose.

But our children grow their knowledge and we cut that too. Don’t do this, don’t say that, run away and play, not now, because I say so… Not tidy. Just timely. For us.

Our own knowledge grows wild, unkempt, organically. We prune that too. Discarding things which might be useful because they’re someone else’s opinion, experience, idea, viewpoint. Tossing our own experiences aside because we cannot find meaning or make sense of it. Often because we don’t have time to. Not tidy. Just timely.

Meanwhile, out of control, inexorably, experience washes over us. And we randomly accept knowledge and learning every day, through every interaction, every experience. Our brains filing it away with dutiful order and precision. Some to be recalled, some to be lost forever in the grey matter. There is no real plan, no real order, no tidy symmetry. Structured randomness.

Unkempt sense making, messy knowing, time restricted learning, disorderly growth.

Neat gardens, neat hair, neat nails, neat lawns, neat children.

Neat lives?

 

human detox anyone?

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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Sitting in Vera’s Kitchen for a cuppa. A fine cafe in Letchworth.

The menu begins with ‘detoxing soup’.

Is that possible? Can soup have a detox effect? What toxin exactly is being removed from your body by consumption of said broth?

Detox, detoxifying, detoxing are ‘a la mode’ at the moment it seems.

But when do we detox our humanity? Remove the toxic parts of our being; the flotsam picked up along our life journey?

The unwanted thoughts. The unhelpful behaviours. The disabling feelings. When do we recover from the self toxifying life journey that has left us with redundant beliefs, self doubt, insecurity, poor self image, vulnerability, limiting thoughts, low self esteem?

That’s the soup we really need.

 

the question is…

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

Steve Chapman - Can Scorpions Smoke?

A friend of mine has created a brand around the question “Can scorpions smoke?”. Steve Chapman is a creative genius who helps people think differently and explore the world with new eyes. His website is here, take a look.

His book of that name was on my desk today and the title kept catching my eye.  I wondered how silly a question can get?

Can pigeons whisper?
Can the sky tickle me?
What if wind is sucking not blowing?
Can bananas plot?
What if my eyes were on my toes?
Can water drown?
Can an itch be drawn?
Does anger like peanut butter?

Children have this wonder. As adults we lose it. Ironically education, society, organisation drive it out of us.

Yet our ability to face the world wearing a coat of possibility allows us to weather many storms. Breaking with convention, with patterned thinking, is a source of joy and creativity and possibility.

Just thinking about those few questions brought a smile to my face.  Thanks Steve.

 

thinking on your feet

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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Language is strange sometimes isn’t it?

Someone said to me today we would be thinking on our feet. The phrase actually suggests we won’t be thinking at all. Rather it implies we will react, in the moment, under time pressure, without giving ourselves time to think.

Today, the group we were facilitating spent time in thinking pairs. Nancy Kline’s model which gives the gift of attention and permits time to think… best done often on our feet.

Ironically.