You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star
Friedrich Nietzsche
There are many interpretations for this quote. My meaning I take to be…
Only with a freedom in your heart, a freedom to be yourself, to discover and embrace your existence, with all the chaos and complexity that might bring, only then can you bring your dancing star to the surface. A free, expressive version of your ‘self’ that brings light and wonder to the world.
image by: Graham Fink
Study me as much as you like, you will not know me,
for I differ in a hundred ways from what you see me to be.Put yourself behind my eyes and see me as I see myself,
for I have chosen to dwell in a place you cannot see
Rumi
Work like you don’t need money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one’s watching
Satchel Paige
or…
Dance like it hurts, love like you need the money and work only when someone is watching.
Scott Adams
as ever, it’s your choice.
We all get on with some people more than others. Sometimes we just click immediately. Sometimes the connection develops over a period of time. But what is rapport?
But when we have a rapportful relationship we know it. We are drawn to it. We enjoy experiencing it.
Its origins as a word seem to be French – rapporter – to bring back, or return, and a definition might be…
a state of harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well
So maybe rapport is simply about giving and receiving? Giving some of ourselves; our ideas, thoughts, emotions and being open to others’ ideas thoughts and emotions in return. Where these connect or overlap, we have rapport.
Sounds easy.
Of course we have to know enough about ourselves, and be open-hearted and generous enough, to be able to authentically share what our feelings, thoughts and ideas are . And we have to be present enough and care enough to hear what is reciprocated.
Maybe that’s why it isn’t always so easy?
I’m fascinated by the resurgence of ripped jeans. Clearly on trend, they are everywhere. But let’s just pause for a moment. Who decided to sell us ripped clothes and when did we decide to buy them? It’s not just jeans, Converse sell scuffed up shoes, so that from new, you can have the worn out look. Some designer sneakers are available for $400 with a designer somewhere making hand made tears and marks on your particular shoes.
What next, cars which have scratches in the paintwork? Umbrellas with broken spokes? If the marketeers can persuade us, yes.
If it’s labelled fashion, it seems anything goes. But what does fashion mean?
At the high end it seems to be about breaking new ground. But for the masses, it seems to be about fitting in. About compliance. About peer pressure. Not new; ladies of the Victorian era had their wastes pinched so tight they could barely breathe, in the name of fashion.
Why do we find it so hard to buck the trend? To be individual? To do what we choose?
Or are we in fact doing what we choose?
Choosing to be the same? To fit in? To comply? To seek acceptance? To avoid judgement because others are doing the same? To hide in the crowd?
When the shoe fits … the foot is forgotten
When we exist in a way so congruent with our sense of self, then striving ceases to be present. We are free to simply be.
I read something today, where someone listed what they are passionate about.
It seemed a useful exercise, so I thought I’d try it…
I’m passionate about human beings being the best they can be, Wycombe Wanderers football club, chocolate in the evening, freedom to choose, Strictly Come Dancing, doing the right thing, stationery, just being in the moment, the sound of running water, coaching, being authentically me, Pink Floyd, honest conversations, being there for someone, the film Pretty Woman, sharing, systemic constellations, the musical Les Miserables, being heard, steak and kidney pie with chips, social justice, storms, avoiding ego driven politics, RSA animates videos on YouTube, treating people as adults, driving, nice shoes, learning, respecting people’s difference and right to be, coconut ice cream, clothes with bold colours, being curious…
How about you?
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
You probably have a loyalty card, or six. Maybe you collect points from buying petrol, from visiting your supermarket, from buying coffee, from a number of high street stores? These days we aren’t loyal to one retailer, but the retailers still strive to buy our loyalty. Actually they are spending to protect themselves from our disloyalty. It’s a game. They offer points for us to save for gifts or for money off future purchases, and we dutifully collect the points. Theirs, and often their competitors too.
It seems we like to think we are getting something for nothing. It seems we like to save and to reward our saving endeavours.
So… what if you were rewarded for being loyal to who you are?
What if you had your own loyalty points system? Gaining rewards, gifts and bonuses from living your life in a manner congruent with your sense of self?
Every time you act in a way aligned with your values and beliefs, you gain satisfaction points. Every time you behave or act in line with the things that give you meaning, your account is topped up with a sense of purpose and fulfilment. Every time you do something that makes you happy, you get a bonus injection of joy. Every moment of enhanced self awareness gets you a small gift of learning.
Be loyal to yourself.
No card required.
No account needed.
No password to remember.
Meaningful, priceless, lasting gifts.
Singing someone else’s song is fun… but it’s not your song.
In life, when you stand up to the microphone…
Sing your own song.
Find your own words.
Hum your own tune.
Strum your own beat.
Make your own rhythm.
Voice your own story.
Connect with the hearts, minds and emotions of others through your own lyrics.
Don’t sing a karaoke version of someone else’s life.
Sing yours.
illuminated dandelion 