be

choosing when to have wind…

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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When a man doesn’t know what harbour he is making for,
no wind is the right wind

Seneca

I was speaking to a prospective coach client this morning. They described themselves as lost. The work appears to be about self, about who they are.

They asked me how they would know when they had achieved their goal; I responded with a question, asking how they know now?  How they know they need to come to coaching, that they are indeed ‘lost’?

They responded that they ‘feel it’. And so I said, ‘that’s how you will know.’

Sometimes knowing where we are headed is important, but so too is knowing how we will know we have arrived. Without this, any wind, any movement, is without purpose and just as likely to take us the wrong way as to take us the right way.

a beauty, still

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

Today seems still.

Little or no wind. Trees firm, statesman-like, statuesque. Clouds spread like a cottonwool blanket across the sky; not racing to a future destination, not rain laden, not billowing. The light calm and purposeful. A constant. Not indecisive, not pulled asunder by cloud and cloud break, not overpowering, just there.

As a result, wildlife seems content. Happy to be. The birds seem at peace. Much seems slower. The shadows seem an equal fixture to that that is physical; holding their place alongside the things that cast them.

Sounds seem more balanced, more in harmony with the stillness around. They seem to complement what can be seen and felt. Sensory symphony.

Still is good.

when the conditions are right…

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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Flowers are amazing.

As Spring approaches and the first flowers of the season are out, it’s hard not to wonder at their sophistication.

They reach up and face the sun in an attempt to maximise their potential. They become open, literally, to possibilities. When night draws in and growth is no longer fed by the nourishing sunlight, they close and bow their heads, patiently waiting for the next surge of life expanding light and warmth.

They are hugely diverse, bright, colourful in a range of sizes. All are welcome in the garden.

We could learn so much.

 

the nature of connecting

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I was trying to explain to a colleague the other day how I see patterns and connections in things.

“For me, everything is connected to everything else…” I said.

Of course, on reflection that’s probably not true. Kumquats are unlikely to be connected to my retirement. The price of aluminium not really connected to the music on my favourite playlist.

What is true though, is that I do see patterns and connections in things which aren’t obvious to other people. They are however obvious to me. That’s not a statement suggesting that others are missing something, or somehow not as able, or that I’m ‘right’. It just is. I can’t always explain the connection, or why it is significant to acknowledge the connection, but they are often both real and meaningful, to me at least.

What is also true, is that I find it hard to do a mind map – for me, things need to be on more than one ‘branch’, some branches need to be joined up. It isn’t therefore a means to clarifying data, as it is for some, rather a way to create complication and frustration.

I have in the past noticed different people connect things in a variety of ways. I recall running numerous workshops over the years, where delegates, asked to group or theme brainstormed post-it notes, would often group them together if they had, for example, the word ‘training’ on them. To me, this ‘connecting’, whilst valid, missed out on the meaning beneath the words.

It seems we all make connections, make meaning, in different ways.  Maybe you make connections in one of these ways?

These things are about the same subject, so they must be connected?
These things are related through cause and effect?
These things are all connected to a specific outcome?
These things form part of the narrative, the story?
These things have a similar significance?
These things together open up possibilities?

Where we find meaning and connection, because we all do it differently, sometimes leads to misunderstanding, disagreement, confusion. So worth exploring the methods you consciously and unconsciously apply?

 

actors on our own stage

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I was talking with a coach today as their supervisor. They were speaking about procrastination – about something they wanted to get done but recognised they were avoiding.

As they spoke about moving forward, their hand made a shoving motion from in front of their face to their right. I was curious. They then spoke about avoiding this thing because they didn’t like advertising themselves and their talents. With this explanation they made a ‘jazz hands’ gesture with hands framing their face.

I stopped them talking and asked them to notice what just happened. They smiled and reflected back these movements that accompanied their words. They had noticed that their own gestures said as much or more about their stuckness as the story does. Our conversation took a new direction.

Sometimes I wonder just how helpful to our condition of ‘being’ if might be, if we were able to watch ourselves as actors on our own stage?

 

passion

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I read something today, where someone listed what they are passionate about.

It seemed a useful exercise, so I thought I’d try it…

I’m passionate about human beings being the best they can be, Wycombe Wanderers football club, chocolate in the evening, freedom to choose, Strictly Come Dancing, doing the right thing, stationery, just being in the moment, the sound of running water, coaching, being authentically me, Pink Floyd, honest conversations, being there for someone, the film Pretty Woman, sharing, systemic constellations, the musical Les Miserables, being heard, steak and kidney pie with chips, social justice, storms, avoiding ego driven politics, RSA animates videos on YouTube, treating people as adults, driving, nice shoes, learning, respecting people’s difference and right to be, coconut ice cream, clothes with bold colours, being curious…

How about you?