The question ‘Why?’ is one we are familiar with.
We use it to seek understanding, context, reasons.
But an alternative viewpoint might be that it is the most unhelpful question.
‘Why?’ encourages us to repeat the story we have always told ourselves and told others. To tell ourselves, and others, the same untruth. To give ourselves and others permission, justification. That justification in effect a cloak. A cloak to deeper understanding, to enquiry, to learning, to change.
‘Why?’ becomes an (unintended) excuse. ‘Why?’ effectively keeps us running on the same track; because we tell ourselves why we always have, why we are now, and why we always need to.
So maybe stop providing yourself and others with the excuse. Ask instead ‘what?’, ‘when?’, ‘how?’, ‘where?’. These questions explore specifics, they explore truth, they facilitate growth and movement. They illuminate choice and perspective, instead of justification to remain stuck.