… eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak
Hans Hoffman
Steve Ridgley
the nature of connecting
I was trying to explain to a colleague the other day how I see patterns and connections in things.
“For me, everything is connected to everything else…” I said.
Of course, on reflection that’s probably not true. Kumquats are unlikely to be connected to my retirement. The price of aluminium not really connected to the music on my favourite playlist.
What is true though, is that I do see patterns and connections in things which aren’t obvious to other people. They are however obvious to me. That’s not a statement suggesting that others are missing something, or somehow not as able, or that I’m ‘right’. It just is. I can’t always explain the connection, or why it is significant to acknowledge the connection, but they are often both real and meaningful, to me at least.
What is also true, is that I find it hard to do a mind map – for me, things need to be on more than one ‘branch’, some branches need to be joined up. It isn’t therefore a means to clarifying data, as it is for some, rather a way to create complication and frustration.
I have in the past noticed different people connect things in a variety of ways. I recall running numerous workshops over the years, where delegates, asked to group or theme brainstormed post-it notes, would often group them together if they had, for example, the word ‘training’ on them. To me, this ‘connecting’, whilst valid, missed out on the meaning beneath the words.
It seems we all make connections, make meaning, in different ways. Maybe you make connections in one of these ways?
These things are about the same subject, so they must be connected?
These things are related through cause and effect?
These things are all connected to a specific outcome?
These things form part of the narrative, the story?
These things have a similar significance?
These things together open up possibilities?
Where we find meaning and connection, because we all do it differently, sometimes leads to misunderstanding, disagreement, confusion. So worth exploring the methods you consciously and unconsciously apply?
I should, I should, I should…
Your ego is a false identity that your mind created
and then you took up residence in
The “I shoulds” and “I musts” we tell ourselves belong to our ego. It’s not all you are. In fact it’s an illusion, albeit a very influential one.
Be more than your ego. Listen to your soul. Fly free.
personal space
Yesterday I walked up a busy Edgware Road. I was walking quickly to get a train from Paddington and the pavement was thronging with commuters, shoppers and locals frequenting the many Lebanese eateries.
In front of me was a lady carrying a heavy shopping bag on her left arm. The arm was hooked double to support the seemingly weighty contents. Her right arm was projected out, away from her body at 45 degrees, presumably as a counter balance. The counter balancing arm was obstructing my path and frustratingly making it difficult for me to slip by.
After a few seconds, I stepped out into a space to overtake and nearly went head over heels as a fellow pedestrian walking in the opposite direction was tugging a wheelie case that had escaped my attention.
I suddenly became aware of our personal space. My space and that of those around me. The space we each occupy, not only with our physical bodies, but also with our chattels, our possessions, our accoutrements.
I wonder how often we notice when we invade others space, or when we cause them to divert?
This wondering returned twenty minutes later when a commuter on my train whacked my shoulder with a laptop case thrown over their shoulder. But was I leaning into the aisle? Was I invading their thoroughfare, or were they invading my space in my seat?
And now I notice I have described it as my space and their space and introduced the idea of ‘invading’… strong words.
Personal space clearly matters.
learning blind
What could you never learn?
Make a list.
It’s easy to begin with skills and knowledge – we often equate learning to what we know and what we can do. I for instance would find it hard to ski jump. I don’t like heights, feeling out of control or physically hurting myself, which all seem to me possibilities with ski jumping.
But explore further. Maybe you could never learn to behave a certain way, or to feel certain things? Maybe you could never learn to be calm? Or to physically strike someone for example?
Maybe you could never learn to believe something or to value something – maybe you could never learn to be envious of material wealth for example? Maybe you could never learn to love red meat?
Maybe you could never learn to be a different person in some way? Maybe being a racist is beyond your learning capability? Or to take a life?
What we are blind to learning tells us a lot.
Be curious. What does it say about you?
meta to the meta
Meta tags appear on web pages. They aren’t visible to the reader, they contain data describing the page. Data on the data, if you will. ‘Meta’ can also be described as a concept which is itself an abstraction from another concept.
Going ‘meta’ to a situation can also be a self referential place; stepping outside of oneself to observe oneself.
An example might be to ask “What do I think about my thinking?” Or perhaps to explore, “How do you reflect on those reflections about that?”
Sometimes, creating a different physical perspective can help still further. Try this out…
Sit and think about a problem or issue you are currently grappling with. Notice what you’re thinking and feeling as you explore this difficulty.
Now, get up and stand across the room, looking at the original chair or place you were just in. Here you are no longer thinking about the original problem, instead you are considering the thinking about the problem.
Ask yourself “What do I notice about that thinking?” Ask yourself “What do I think and feel about that thinking and what do I hear in that thinking?”
Notice what comes to mind. Perhaps you think the thinking was a little negative or judgemental? Maybe you notice uncertainty or confusion? Maybe you notice more than one perspective in the thinking – like an internal dialogue? Notice whatever comes to mind?
Now, stand in a third place; another part of the room, still further from the original chair. This time look at the place where you were standing a few moments ago; the second, reflective place. From this new third place, ask yourself “what do I notice, what do I think, how do I feel about that thinking in that place?” The thinking about the thinking, if you will.
Here you may find new insights. New meaning. New significance. New awareness on the original issue… as you go meta to the meta.
no touching!
Contactless.
We can now pay for our goods without any actual contact. Payments are made by wafting a piece of plastic, or a mobile phone, next to a reader and money is debited from your account. Not only does the card not have to touch the reader, this is contactless from a human perspective too. No pin keyed in. No signature. You don’t even have to hold the card.
You possibly also enter buildings, maybe at work or at home through a contactless fob waved adjacent to an access pad. Doors open automatically. No human pushing or pulling required.
Driverless cars are now being developed. No human steering, accelerating, braking.
Technologically speaking, it is as if our human contact with the world is being removed, bit by bit.
Sometimes it is easy to forget that the same can be true when we interact with each other. Often without physical or verbal contact we have an impact nonetheless.
Just being near someone can touch their lives.
Contactless.
But not without impact.
we are, what we give
Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal.
Walk out of your house like a shepherd
Rumi
We are, what we give to others.
a new anxiety…
I’ve been noticing how modern technology reminds us.
Some of this is helpful, but generally technology reminds us to catch up. Reminds us of what we’ve missed or not done. In this way it unconsciously builds a sense within us of being behind. It gives us an always on reminder; a visual or auditory ‘shove’ to encourage us to catch up.
My inbox tells me how many ‘unread emails’ I have. It doesn’t tell me how many I’ve read today or how many I’ve responded to, or the hours of effort I have invested in my endless communication with those I interact with. No. Instead it reminds me what I still have to do.
My phone alerts me to ‘missed calls’. Raising in me a sense that I’ve let someone down or maybe missed an important person or message. It nudges me towards a message, a voicemail the person has left, and then sends me a text in case I ignore the other signals I have been sent. It is like my phone is constantly whispering ‘Come on, come on, keep up’.
Meanwhile all my technology reminds me I have ‘updates’ – even my TV. I’m always out of date it seems. Missing some vital feature or fix to make me ever more capable, or ever more efficient. Now, my i-phone and i-pad, not only tell me I have updates, but if I say I’m not ready to install them they say ‘shall I remind you later today?’ Nooooo!
The failure. The pressure. The anxiety.
What has happened here?
eight out of ten…
How open are you to yourself?
I mean how receptive are you to your truth? How open minded and open hearted are you to who you are, what you stand for, what you are good at, what you are not? How open and receptive are you to your own learning and growth from that place? To what is possible?
If you were to score yourself right now on a scale of 1 to 10, with ten being ‘totally’ and 1 being ‘not at all’, what score would you give yourself?
And what score would you like it to be?
If you scored 7, would you like it to be 9?
5 and want it to be 6?
How might you move your score? What might you do to widen and deepen your awareness and to bring about the movement you seek?
illuminated dandelion 