be

where have you left traces of yourself?

~ steve.ridgley ~ 1 Comment

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As you move through the world you will have touched people. Some you will know. Family. Friends. Colleagues. Loved ones.

These people will recall you. They will feel connected. Your life and theirs inextricably linked through a bond. Maybe the bond is tangible, physical. Maybe it is emotional. Maybe it is transparent, maybe it is just there in the system, felt in the ether.

Others you have touched, you may not even realise it to be so.

In the midst of your own hectic, muddled life, you may have inadvertently dropped little traces of you on your journey. Like a dusting of you, cascading in your wake. Equally you may have deliberately acted, not seeking gain, not cognisant perhaps of the lasting impact or significant consequences that result for that person, or those close to them. You may have done this through…

An impromptu smile
A comforting word
A timely glance
A small act of kindness
Listening when someone needed to be heard
Witnessing someone’s truth
A small but critical thank you
A heartfelt hug
A positive thought

With fairy-like footprints, we invisibly stand in people’s lives, often unaware of those we have touched.

But they remember. They know. They thank you.

 

under the bonnet

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I need to arrange a service today for a car.

The number of miles on the clock, or the age of the vehicle determines the need for a service. The vehicle service log tells me what will get attended to for that service – filters and parts to change, checks carried out, along with the standard service activities such as oil change.

I don’t have a service log book for me.
I have no idea how many miles I’ve done.

I’ve certainly been around somewhat longer than any car I’ve ever owned; my eyesight has deteriorated so that now I need glasses to read and sometimes when I sit on the floor, getting up again is a struggle… so I’m guessing a service might be a good idea?

Not only might I benefit from a physical check up, I think mentally and emotionally a once over might be a good idea too.

Is my thinking working for me, am I happy enough, is my life in balance? Are my stress levels right, am I spending too much time in reverse gear, or flat out in fifth? Is my balance of looking ahead and into my rear view mirrors right? Can I see clearly where I’m going, or are my wipers suboptimal, or my windscreen scratched or distorted? Am I steering straight? Is there an annoying squeak in my self talk, distracting me constantly? Do my filters need a clean or to be replaced – am I noticing what I could, or filtering out the wrong things? Is my SatNav programmed to repeat the same journeys the same way, or am I free to detour, to find a new route? Am I concentrating on the road ahead, or distracted constantly?

Driving through life can be tiring, physically, mentally, emotionally. The journey, the destination, the views and sights along the way can be exhilarating though.

Time to make sure we are roadworthy perhaps?

 

the learning of now

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.

Lewis Carroll
image: chiselled into a plaster wall in Exeter

We grow and change constantly. We just need to give ourselves the opportunity to notice. Not be in our plans for tomorrow, or in our regrets of yesterday, but to be in a deep awareness of what is happening now.

How ‘now’ is changing us; what we are learning that is new awareness, what we can un-learn because we no longer need it. How we are thinking and our patterns of thought. How we are being and how we want to be.

 

are you Marmite?

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

marmite

Marmite – you either love it or hate it

Possibly true with Marmite, and certainly used to good effect in promoting the brand. It’s a memorable slogan or catch phrase that reflects a certain reality and so it is easy to connect with – you do actually either love it or hate it typically.

Many brands have such slogans.  I recall Persil ‘washes whiter than white’. Not sure if that is technically possible, but, to coin another ‘it does what it says on the tin’.

I was pondering the other day – do I have a slogan, a brand catchphrase I might use?

All of the above might apply to a person too – you either love me or hate me; I’m whiter than white; I do what it says on the tin…

So, maybe you’re ‘finger lickin’ good’?
Maybe you ‘Just do it’?
Maybe you ‘think different’?
Maybe you ‘snap, crackle and pop’?

What might your advertising slogan be and what might it say about you? What aspect of your very essence, your soul would be captured by a phrase used to sell you?

Marmite question maybe?

Photo: Daily Mail

 

when a mask might reveal, not conceal…

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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I had the pleasure of attending The Lab recently, where in the midst of some great experiments into being human, we explored working with masks.

If you have seen the excellent ventriloquist comedian Nina Conti you will know part of her act involves applying a partial mask to an audience member. Nina then controls the mouth parts with a remote,  so that the individual seems to be agreeing to do something outrageous, or says something inappropriate, even though their body language suggests horror, or disagreement, at the prospect.

It is a clever representation of the power of a mask. The act demonstrates a freedom and what can be possible if we don’t feel seen, whilst juxtaposing the obvious visibility of the individual’s body squirming at what they are saying, through Nina. Simultaneously, the act allows Nina, as the ventriloquist, to say and do things she might never do herself.

In our Lab experiment we saw people assuming the whole character, mannerisms, language, opinions of their ‘character behind the mask’.

A mask, in a sense, gives us permission to be someone else. To reveal a part of ourselves we may normally keep subdued or hidden. It also gives us permission to conceal ourselves behind the mask. Be it gender, ethnicity, geographic origin. We sometimes use non-visual masks too. Hiding behind our organisational or societal status or role.

I wonder what we are capable of if we could wear a mask at will?

What truth would we be able to speak?
What feeling could we emote?
How much more ourselves we might be?
How much might we conceal?

 

the passing of life

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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When we hear the sad news of a celebrity or significant public personality passing, it reminds us of our own past.  Often our connection is to a shared time – the music we listened to, the films we saw, the events we witnessed.

It is the memories of those days, those shared times, the recollection of our own dim distant youth and the good times therein, that often brings the sadness, the emotion, maybe the tears.

When people close to us pass away, the number of connections is more, the richness of the memories even brighter, deeper, warmer.

It is at these points of passing, that we reflect on our own mortality. When lives end, we pay attention to the passing of our own years. Time slipping away.

Yet life is passing with every moment.

Each passing hour, minute, second is a moment of our own lives; and so many we let go without conscious thought.

So many pass without reflection to their significance; so many pass in the blink of an eye; so many slip away without time to relish their part in the contribution to our own evolution, our own personal learning and growth.

So many pass without awareness to the contribution we make to the richness of others memories. The people we touch. The difference we make. The memory making moments our existence has had, to those around us who will be here long afterwards.

The passing of life isn’t about death, it’s about now. This minute, this moment.

 

RIP David

 

like antimatter…

~ steve.ridgley ~ Leave a comment

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When do you pause?

I suspect you pause all the time. Mostly just for a second. To draw breath. To find your words. Distracted. Maybe you pause between listening and speaking? Maybe between speaking and listening? Maybe you pause to reflect? Maybe you pause before beginning? Maybe when your attention moves? Maybe you never pause? Maybe you just never notice your pause?

I wonder if in fact it’s all about the pause?

Maybe the pause is the important part? Everything else is just there to fill the gaps between the pauses.

Like antimatter perhaps?

What if we were to notice, honour, embrace the unseen pause?